come and go as they please. They give no regard for my workload or daily checklist. I'm not supposed to feel like this, things were going so well. But, I suppose it is my fault; choosing to date a child. How can someone plan their life with such high ended dreams and leave no room for love? What if love happens? Then what?! He'll have to change things, he'll have to alter his goal oriented mind to make room, and for him love and family will be a burden. Little boy, little boy what will you be? I wanna' be a pilot and then an astronaut, and then I think I wanna be president of the USA! And the adults smile and chuckle and pat him on the head; knowing these things he may grow out of. But you're 21, and too old to be dreaming of such things. You know who should be an astronaut? They guy who has worked for it all his life; the guy who doesn't have a father to pull strings; the guy who every morning gets up and can taste it and breath it; the guy who looks down at his wife and says,"I'm ready to go into work" and she smiles knowing that he is absolutely where he should be, and so is she.
Take a step back and think about what you just said. You say,"I love you" to the girl in bed next to you, but she doesn't smile. She's wise to your game of pretend; your world of make believe doesn't amuse her because it's her heart in the palm of your hand. She sometimes wishes you wouldn't say those words at all; clearly you are too young to know their meaning. Because this bed we lay on is small. It was made for the dreaming of one person and it really is hard to squeeze two of us on it for long. Someone's bound to roll off the edge in the night, and she knows it will be her. This bed of dreams doesn't include her even though she hopes and wishes that it would. Why? Why is it that you get to have these big dreams little boy? Why hasn't the world shown you her secrets?